Bitch, please: Enough with the fucking SWEATPANTS already!

OK, my sartorial darlings, this one has been brewing for fucking months, and you know it’s going to be a doozie because I’ve already sworn twice within the space of 19 words. Expect more as this post proceeds. Let’s ease on those bitch heels and strut the runway of frustration again…

What am I bitchin’ about today?


*seethes quietly while he gets his blood pressure under control*

Look, I get it. I really do. The F/W18 Paris Fashion Week did  feature sportswear—specifically sweatpants and sweatshirts—fairly heavily. Believe me, I follow this shit and I saw it. It was the laziest goddamn ‘fashion design’ I think I’ve ever seen. And, unfortunately, many of SL’s menswear designers have ignored all the other amazing stuff that came out in those collections, and zeroed in on the sportswear like fucking mosquitoes with blinders on.

I’ve suffered in silence (okay, almost silence) for several months now. But the new Men’s Dept collection, released just yesterday, is the final fucking straw for me. It contains the following:

  • five lots of sweatpants
  • two lots of sweatshirts
  • two lots of sneakers
  • three lots of sportswear (basketball shirts/tops/shorts)

And that’s not counting the spaces taken up by the ten lots of decor items (including one backdrop and two skyboxes).

ONE collection. FIVE lots of sweatpants. Are you taking the fucking piss, people? Have we jettisoned back to 2007 and those heady days of ‘gangsta’ puffer jackets? Can we expect the enormous blinging $$ belt buckles and gold chains next?

It’s getting harder and harder to find NON-sportswear clothing items these days. More and more often I find myself coming away from the six (yes, SIX) monthly menswear events with just skins, hair, and other accessories lately. It’s damn near impossible to put together decent looks and blog posts without re-using older items time and again. I’m lucky if—from all those six events—I can find three or four clothing items I can work with. I’m even luckier if those clothing items actually work together.

Designers: did you even see  the Balmain F/W collection? Did you see all of this amazing stuff?

And that was just ONE collection. Balmain, Dior Homme, McQueen: all brought amazing design to the runways.

And what does SL give us?

*deep breath and all together now*



Yes, I’m fuming, but I’m also so, SO disappointed. Designers who once made amazing, innovative (but, crucially, wearable) clothing now release mostly sweatpants and sweatshirts. Footwear designers who once brought out incredible boots and shoes now mostly release sneakers. And don’t even get me started on the whole “only rigging for Gianni and Jake” that goes on these days.

It’s depressing. Truly depressing.

First world problems, yeah, but bloody hell,  people. I’m more than willing to put in hours  of effort to put looks together and publicise your creations, but I’m getting so damn disheartened with the menswear scene in SL lately. Have you noticed that many of my fashion shots these days are head-and-shoulders-only? Or head-and-torso-only? That’s because I can’t find decent fucking pants and footwear on a reasonably regular basis. Or because all I’ve found is a new skin and some hair. Maybe some eyes.

Can we turn this around a little? God, I have no idea how many (if any) clothing designers read my blog, but show me what you can do, my sartorial darlings. Blow my mind and make me throw my L$ at you. Want some ideas? Check out my HOWL Pinterest board, because—if you can bring stuff like that to SL—you will  make me howl. (And yes, right at the bottom of that page you’ll see something that one designer has  brought into SL, and that I and many others jumped on the second we saw it.)

Because there’s nothing sartorial about fucking sweatpants…

Bitch, Please: Can we quit with the “all SL men are stupid” meme? It’s getting really fucking old

This one’s been brewing for a long time, my sartorial darlings. It’s time to ease on those bitch heels and strut the runway of frustration again.

I’ve been gritting my teeth over a number of things lately, so expect another of these posts sometime soon. But, for now, let’s see what’s had Skell rolling his eyes and muttering, “Oh bitch, please,” at his monitor for this post, shall we?

Other Avatar #1: Omega is the best choice for Slink cos all one application and you can get great skins for $500L to $1500 plus minus
Bitch Please: My friend wont’ be able to use omgea
Bitch Please: he’s a man
Other Avatar #2: omega is easy lol
Bitch Please: get real
Bitch Please: LOL
Bitch Please: no its not
Skell Dagger: I’m a man and I have no difficulty using Omega
Bitch Please: men never understand it
Bitch Please: its to complex for most men
Skell Dagger: That kind of attitude about men and fashion/looks is what I’ve been battling against for YEARS in SL.
Other Avatar #3: Sort of depends on the crowds you’re hanging out with…Plenty of men have no issue at all. Most of the time, the two primary issues tend to involve impatience and language barriers – which are NOT in any way exclusive to men.

Omega is “too complex” for most men to understand, apparently. Possessing a dick means that men can’t get their poor little heads around adding a HUD and wearing it while they click a button.

Oh wait. There’s more to Omega than just clicking a button! I hear you cry? You’re right; sometimes you have to click TWO buttons. Let’s list the ways Omega can be used:

  • Installing Omega into a body: Wear the Omega installer HUD for that body. Click it. Omega is installed into the body. Men never understand it! Too complex for most men!
  • Using Omega eye appliers on the rigged eyes of a head that doesn’t have native Omega support: Wear the Omega relay HUD for that head. Wear the eye applier HUD. Click the eye applier HUD. Eyes are applied to the rigged eyes. Men never understand it! Too complex for most men!
  • Using an Omega beard applier: Wear the beard applier. Click the desired beard type. Menu pops up offering locations the beard can be applied. Click ‘beard’ button on menu. Beard is applied to head. Men never understand it! Too complex for most men!
  • The same as the above regarding other types of Omega applier, including skins, hairbases, etc. Men never understand it! Too complex for most men!

God, how do I even find my own arsehole to wipe it after taking a shit if I’m in a group of beings who are that  fucking stupid? And this is far from the first time I’ve encountered this kind of attitude about men in SL from women in SL. Where the hell is it coming from?

Hang on a minute. I think I found out…

Dude, do you drive a car? How many lessons did it take for you to learn how to do that? That HUD is not too complicated; you’re just too fucking lazy. Guys like you—the kind who don’t read instructions and manuals and then wonder why you have bits left over from whatever you’re making/doing/putting back together again—are the kind that give the rest of us a bad name and perpetuate this “men are too stupid to do XYZ” stereotype. Be thankful that I spared your blushes by blurring out your name.

And ladies? Just because your guy doesn’t appear interested in Bento mesh head HUDs, or wearing more than the same outfit in SL that he’s had on for the past seven years, or upgrading to mesh at all, or he just wants things to be as easy as possible… that doesn’t mean all of those things are too complicated for him, or that he doesn’t (and will never) understand it. Or that all (or most) men find those things too complicated. Look back at what Other Avatar #3 said in that conversation:

Other Avatar #3: Sort of depends on the crowds you’re hanging out with…Plenty of men have no issue at all. Most of the time, the two primary issues tend to involve impatience and language barriers – which are NOT in any way exclusive to men.

Ever seen a guy get angry when he’s getting to grips with something new? He’s not angry at you, or at the thing he’s trying to do. He’s angry at himself. For not getting it quickly, or even instantly. Hell, I’m one of life’s perfectionists and I’ve been in SL for almost 11 years. It took me a couple of weeks to fully understand everything that my Bento mesh head could do, and I got angry… at myself. I was frustrated that I couldn’t figure out how to work this damn thing right away. I’ve always been that way: start a new job and get annoyed at myself within a week for not knowing everything there is to know about it by that time.

But I’m also one of life’s stubborn fuckers, and I don’t give up. I’m patient and I’ll gladly suffer a bit of annoyance if the end result will be worth it. Many guys, however, won’t. Let’s face it: we all want an easy life, and when frustrations crop up we usually look for a quick way out of them. For a lot of guys that quick way might be getting one outfit right and never taking it off, or sticking to the system avatar that he knows well, or quitting when he doesn’t get to grips with a mesh head’s HUD after more than ten minutes of trying it out.

If your guy is getting angry/frustrated when he’s trying out something like a Bento mesh head, or matching his head to his body at the neck seam, the main thing you can do to help him is not to overload him with ‘click this’, and ‘wear that’ instructions. If you do that, you stand a very strong chance of increasing his frustration. I see this sometimes in the support group chats for mesh heads and bodies: a guy comes in to ask a question, feeling a bit frustrated, and he receives information not only from the group’s CSRs and moderators, but also from a lot of other people in chat. Those people mean well, but I’ve seen guys get completely  overwhelmed by having five or six other people (almost always women) giving them advice from every angle. Often I’ll take those guys into IM and help them one-on-one, if I can.

I’ve even seen that kind of question devolve into a bit of a pile-on, with several women all joking about how their  man (which usually turns fairly swiftly into someone generalising about all men) can’t get to grips with XYZ things regarding their looks in SL. And you know what that does? It stops other guys who might be lurking from asking the question they might have about their looks in SL, because those women have just implied that guys who don’t get it must be idiots, and those guys with questions don’t want to look like fools. See where that might turn into a vicious circle?

I’m passionate about helping guys to look good in SL, and I have damn-near unlimited patience when it comes to that. This is a virtual hill I’m prepared to fucking die on, my sartorial darlings.

Step back a little and let him work it out for himself, with a little guidance if he asks. And, if he fucks it up completely, he can always redeliver. But he’s not stupid, and nor are other guys who get frustrated with things. He might be a bit impatient and he might feel like he should know this stuff already, damn it. Hell, he might even just be lazy, like Mr “Do Something For Us Guys” up there.

But he’s not too fucking stupid to get it.

Dear Diary: I’ve just given up on mesh heads

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I have just spent a truly maddening  (and expensive) two hours fucking around with mesh heads, head appliers, mesh bodies, and body appliers, as well as skins and all kinds of associated crap like that. At the end of those two hours, I was SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED that I was all but screaming at the computer, and eventually logged out of SL, fuming.

So… what happened?

Warning: A lot of text incoming…

We’ll begin with my finding a gorgeous male skin that I wanted to try. The only problem was, this skin only  came with an applier for a specific mesh head (not TMP, since I refuse to consider that one, regardless). No separate skin and no Slink mesh body applier. However, the same store did  have a full set of general male skin appliers, which – since there was only one body applier set – I assumed would work with all  of their skins. This seems to be similar to many other skin stores: they have just one set of body appliers, and the head appliers (or system skin faces) are the parts that are actually different. It’s a good business model, and it means that a store’s customers would only need to purchase one set of body appliers, and can then buy either the standard skins or head appliers that they wanted from a new release.

So I picked up the demo of the Slink mesh body applier and the demo for the mesh head. I then picked up the demo of  the mesh head. And then the fury began.

The mesh head appliers do  come with a standard skin, but only for the body. No Slink body appliers. So I wore my Slink body and used the all-in-one Slink mesh body skin applier from the skin store. I then tried on the Omega version of the mesh head, applied the skin head applier and… there’s a very visible dark join at the neck. Great.

The head applier didn’t come with eyebrows, so I picked up the demo of that, too. Tried them on, and all together the mesh head with its skin and brow appliers looked good enough for me to think, “Okay yeah. I’ll get it. It’s not perfect around the neck, but eh, I can use something else there.” Since I don’t wear mesh heads all the time, I figured that if I wanted to wear that mesh head, I’d wear a collar or choker or scarf or something to cover the join. It’s something I do quite a lot, to cover little imperfections.

So I went ahead and spent an eye-watering L$2500 on the mesh head. While I was there I thought I might as well be in for a penny, in for a pound, and also purchased the Slink body appliers, extra expressions HUD, and a set of complementary vampire teeth for the head, because one of the other head applier skins was pale and delicate, so I figured this could make a great pale vampire look. All told, a full purchase of L$3650 or so. Ouch.

I got them home and – out of interest – I tried on the ‘pale’ colour of the mesh head’s own appliers (both head and body). What this store calls ‘pale’ turns out to be what most other skin stores would call ‘deep tan’. Oh, joy.

Well, let’s try the original gorgeous skin applier, then. It applied perfectly to the full Omega version of the mesh head. Looked great. At last! Ka-ching! Might as well purchase the eyebrow appliers, too, because the skin applier doesn’t include them. And let’s get those Slink mesh body appliers, as well. I liked two tones, so that’s two head appliers, one all-in body applier, plus eyebrow appliers. Total purchase: L$1497.

And then… more problems. The eyebrow applier – which worked on the demo head – doesn’t work on the full mesh head. I checked several things. Yes, I’m using the Omega-specific version of the mesh head, and the brows are for Omega. I tried all three options (brow, makeup, whole head) and it refused to apply. OK then, let’s look at the HUD for that Omega-specific mesh head.

Attach HUD, start clicking through brow options… and find that almost every single damn thing  you might want to use doesn’t have an option on the Omega-specific mesh head HUD. O-kay. Now what?

I tried purchasing the OMEGA Systems installer for that mesh head. Installed Omega, and tried again. Still nothing. The brows just wouldn’t apply. I relogged. Tried a different region. Nothing.


Breathe, Skell. Breathe. You’ve only wasted a total of L$5200 or so. That’s (*eyeroll*) all.

I’d purchased one other skin (in two tones) from the same store. Loved the skin, then found out the Slink body appliers I’d already purchased (which were the only  ones in the mainstore) didn’t work with that skin. I had to purchase individual body appliers (for L$200 per skin tone) for that specific skin, which are on Marketplace only. Also, that skin only came with a TMP mesh head applier.

By this time, I am so fucking frustrated that I’m at the point of almost defenestrating my computer. I see this SO MUCH these days. A skin store might do one or all of the following:

  • stop selling standard skins altogether and focus only on one mesh head applier (usually TMP), so that people who have purchased their other skins and mesh body appliers (but don’t use TMP heads) are left out in the cold. At least two skin designers, in whose stores I have spent tens of thousands of L$ in the past, and whose older skins I have worn almost exclusively for years, have now moved to only creating for TMP heads and Slink body. No system skins for those of us who won’t use TMP heads. I see countless beautiful skin ads by those designers, and then I realise that oh; it’s for TMP head only. Another lost sale for them.
  • have different skins on offer, each one specific to a different mesh head (and, invariably, the only skin I love is the one for TMP, which I refuse to use)
  • not have matching head and body appliers (eg: Omega or Slink body appliers and only TMP head appliers)
  • separate out each new release to get as much money from customers as possible: system skin (no brows; they’re a separate purchase), Slink body appliers, mesh head appliers (again, no brows; they’re a separate applier) so that someone with only a Slink body will need to buy the system skin just for their head (usually the most expensive option), the Slink body applier, and the brow  tattoo layers. Whereas people with mesh bodies and heads only have to buy the cheaper head, body, and brow appliers.

My sartorial darlings, I railed against mesh heads for a long time, but by god I have tried my damndest to like them, despite that. But this is not the first time I have been so thoroughly frustrated by the confusing lack of choice in the male skin market when it comes to mesh heads and their appliers, that I am about ready to simply give up on them for good.

Seriously, fuck it. I’m done with mesh heads.

ETA: (Several days later) Okay, I’m a stubborn fucker and I refuse to give up. I finally got the damn thing working. Eyebrows are on (although I can’t wear any makeup, because it removes either my eyebrows or my hairbase, but still, the mesh head actually works and looks good. FINALLY.)

Bitch, Please: Let me insult you for having no creativity or drive

It’s time to put those bitch heels on and strut the runway of annoyance again, my sartorial darlings. So, what’s the latest thing to make Skell mutter, “Oh, bitch, please,” at his computer screen?

This little gem from group chat last night, with regard to the limitations of mesh:

Skell Dagger: Sadly, it’s a limitation with mesh. It’s much harder to find shoes that work with pants when you can’t edit the pants now!
Bitch Please: I don’t have any issues finding pants and shoes that work together. Seems to me it’s not a limitation of mesh, but a limitation of ones creativity or drive to make things work together.
Skell Dagger: It’s different for guys, BP. And while I do wear heels sometimes, there is (as yet) no heeled mesh foot for men. Finding flat shoes for men that work with various pant cuffs *is* tricky when you’re a guy.
Other Avatar: BP, nothing wrong with my creativity. :) But I have leggings that extend all the way to my toes. It’s simplty hard to find shoes for slink feet that will not try and compete with that, as it were
Bitch Please: I have male alts. I still don’t have issues finding things. :)
Bitch Please: And they’re always well dressed.
Skell Dagger: I have plenty of creativity and drive to make fashion work. My 190k+ inventory will testify to that ;-)

Hrm. Shall we just analyse Miss BP’s responses, one section at a time?

“I don’t have any issues finding pants and shoes that work together.”

  1. You’re a female avatar.
  2. There’s a METRIC FUCKTON more stuff out there for female avatars than there is for male avatars.
  3. Well ain’t you something, huh?
  4. You’re a female avatar.
  5. Preach it, sistah! Because what the hell do us stupid men know about shopping, huh?!
  6. You’re a female avatar.
  7. Do I need to repeat that you’re a female avatar?

Let us take a little diversion here, shall we? How many special sale events are there that cater almost exclusively for female avatars? I’d guess at least a dozen, changing around every couple of weeks. Now, how many for male avatars? ONE. Per. Month.

“Hey, some of those are unisex!” I hear you cry. Why, yes, they are; if you don’t mind buying only furniture. Or jewellery. Let’s take, as an example, the new round of Genre – one of my favourite places for a freaky boy like me to find unusual stuff to blog. The current round’s theme is Baroque, and you’d think there’d be several gorgeous items for men there, wouldn’t you? Here’s a breakdown of what’s actually there:

  • Dresses: 10 (in multiple colours/variants)
  • Corsets (rigged; only female avatars or male avis on a female mesh can wear them): 1
  • Female footwear: 3
  • Unisex footwear: 1
  • Jewellery: 5
  • Furniture: 10
  • Other female clothing (with boob-shaped mesh jackets, etc): 3
  • Hair: 2 (I’ve seen one male blogger who has worn the tall female powdered wig, but his avi is small and slender)
  • Poses: 2
  • Tattoos: 1
  • Accessories: 5
  • Makeup: 1
  • Female skins: 1
  • Churchwarden pipe: 1
  • Male clothing: 1 (a pair of harlequin leggings)

The last two in that list, plus the unisex footwear and one furniture item, are the only  things that are marketed towards (and would appeal to) the majority of men. I already have a great churchwarden pipe, so I don’t need a new one. I came away from Genre with the following items:

  • The unisex boots (sadly there’s no demo so I took a chance on them and sadly they just don’t work with my avatar)
  • The single available tattoo
  • Two necklaces (unrigged mesh, so I can resize them)
  • One of the female outfits. (I’ll be throwing away the boob-shaped mesh jacket, but joy of joys the gorgeous harem-style pants actually FIT on Skell. Expect to see those in a blog post soon)
  • A brooch
  • A fan
  • Some decor

So, in reality, Miss Bitch Please, you need a damn sight MORE drive  to make things work, when there’s less to work with.

“Seems to me it’s not a limitation of mesh, but a limitation of ones creativity or drive to make things work together.”

Ahahahahahaha! Aaaaaahahahhahahahaaaaa!  NO.

Oh, honey, so very much NO. With that one sentence you shoved not only me but the others who were agreeing with me in that group chat straight down the garbage chute and into the depressing morass of Not Being You. How will we ever cope without your awesomesauce levels of creativity? How do we even bring ourselves to get up in the morning without your levels of drive to make things works together?!

OK, let’s just address that issue of “drive to make things work together”. I went through more than sixty  pairs of shoes and boots in my inventory to find a pair that not only fitted  the extremely-skinny ankles of these fucking amazing pants by VRSION KONVERT, but that also fitted the style of look  that I was going for. More than sixty pairs. I spent almost three quarters of a frustrating hour trying to “make things work together” (fitting both physically and stylistically) on just the shoes alone, and still  I was only about 80% happy with the boots that I ended up using. So don’t you dare  fucking tell me that I don’t have the drive to make things work.

And yes, I can make those same pants fit a ‘normal-with-a-Skell-twist’ look, too, with some great studded loafers (below). But ‘normal’ wasn’t what I was going for in the look, above.

Now, onto “limitation of creativity”. Christ on a cracker, does Skell have to slap a bitch? SERIOUSLY?!

Exhibit A:

I desperately wanted to get that insane female hairstyle to work on a male avatar. There are items from fifteen  different stores in that look (not counting the birdcage and the pose), after I’d cannibalised at least three separate outfits (one of them female-only) to put that look together. *tsk* However did I manage that with my poor levels of creativity? *shakes head at self*

Exhibit B:

Gosh, I must have totally  lucked in here, and the Fashion Gods were feeling benevolent towards me when I put this one together (from sixteen different stores) completely by accident!  It wasn’t that I remembered I’d purchased that amazing headdress over a year before this photoshoot, knowing that – at some point – I would be able to use it for the perfect outfit, after all! And it wasn’t that I was buying female Maitreya hair over four years ago, now was it?!

So yeah, honey. Don’t you dare  fucking tell me that my creativity is ‘limited’.

“I have male alts. I still don’t have issues finding things. :)”

Oh, how fabulous for you! Please do tell me where these male alts of yours shop, because on this blog I’m always looking out for the latest ready-to-wear complete outfits! <insert passive-aggressive smiley here>

“And they’re always well dressed.”

That’s awesome. I’m happy for them. I’m well-dressed all the time, too. This is well-dressed:

I’m well turned-out enough. Nice pants, nice shirt, nice shoes that match and fit, nice bit of retro chic with the sunglasses. It’s all just so…. nice.  That’s just me as I am when I’m hangin’ around, doing nothing very much special. It’s normal-me. It’s average.

I’m very happy for you, that you’re able to dress your male alts well. However, on this blog, I’m mostly not aiming for ‘average’. I’m shooting for a bit more than that.

Then again, on reading your profile after you shut down the chat with that little offhand insult of several people in  said chat, I shouldn’t be surprised. In it, you state that you don’t need my permission to fuck with my head. Well, sweetie, you also didn’t need my permission to shove your head so far up your own arse that you were in danger of seeing daylight past your tonsils, but hey; you went ahead and did it anyway. Might wanna dial 911, because it looks as if you’ll be stuck there for a while.

/me eases off the bitch heels and goes to soak his feet for a bit.


Like any uncharted territory I must be greatly intriguing.
But you? You’re not allowed. You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight.

Love this mix of this song. I have a habit of banging it on repeat and singing along (pity my neighbours!) whenever someone’s goaded me, wound me up, annoyed me, pissed me off; anything like that. See, I’m normally the politest, most tolerant person you could ever meet. I’ll talk to anybody (I’m that guy who strikes up conversations at bus stops) and it takes one helluva lot to force me to the point of letting off steam in any way.

(Scroll down. There’s fashion stuff in a minute. I just need to get something off my chest here…)

One surefire, guaranteed way to do that is to be pushy, and that’s one reason why I have so few people on my Contacts list in SL. For many years, the only others on my list were trusted friends I’ve known for years, and recently I’ve added a couple of creators to that number. Very, very occasionally I’ll add someone I’ve spoken to a few times, but in all honesty I don’t actually like  adding people to my list. If I add you and you never contact me again, then after a couple of months you go off the damn list. Why the hell add me if you don’t intend on speaking to me now and then? Not keen on ‘friend collectors’, darlin’.

(Incidentally, if you’ve been added to my list and you’re wondering, “Shit, is he talking about me?” then a clue is if I’ve ever instigated an IM conversation with you. If I have, then I’m happy to have you on my list. Also, if I don’t instigate an IM conversation, but you can see  that I’m enjoying the conversations that you  instigate [and honestly you’ll know if I’m enjoying the chat, because if I’m forcing it then you can see I’m actually making a real effort  to be part of the conversation, rather than it flowing naturally] then I’m also happy to have you on my list.)

The other kind of addition is worse, for me, and it’s my damnable English politeness that makes it so fucking hard for me to say, “Sorry, no,” when I get a friendship offer. That addition is the kind that pushes. And I don’t mean the kind that sends occasional IMs. I mean the kind that:

  • IMs you the very second you log in, before the login progress bar has finished moving across and you’ve even bloody rezzed  (they want your attention NOW)
  • Logs on, IMs you immediately, then logs off again when they get your autoresponse (they only log on because they want your attention; if you can’t/don’t give it, they log off)
  • Constantly asks you what you’re doing, then when you ask them why they want to know they say, “I’m bored.” (they want you to entertain them)

Seriously? That last one actually happened to me with someone recently, and more than once. You’re bored, so you’re asking what I’m doing, because… you hope it’s something I can stop doing so I can un-bore you? What the fuck does that make me, to you?


Booted and muted. Because that wasn’t the first time this person had been pushy and demanding like that. And yes, I know this rant didn’t deserve to be put into a fashion post, but this look was put together while I had this song on repeat, and that kind of behaviour is most definitely uninvited.

What’s also uninvited? The intimation by a certain ‘macho’ section of SL that femme boys (and occasional femme boys like me) aren’t worthy of the descriptor ‘male’. Stop sucking your own dicks, ladies, and go tell it to the flowers. Y’know what? We don’t give a flying fuck what you think of us, because we’re the ones flying the creative flag, we’re the ones pushing boundaries, and we’re the ones with the BALLS around here. You? You just amble around in your massive muscles and boring denims and split-open shirts and look down your over-tanned noses at the guys who are having real fun with fashion. You wouldn’t have the balls  to try anything different. Too. fucking. scared. No homo! No homo! God, get a fucking grip, girls.

Have a pretty, pretty boy, my sartorial darlings. He doesn’t care what you think; he’s just flying his beautiful freak flag :-)

Like anyone would be, I am flattered by your fascination with me…

I’ve had my say and I’ll say no more. Credits are at the end of the post. Enjoy the song; it’s great for sticking the metaphorical finger to arseholes. Pun totally  intended ;-)

“This is not allowed”? You’re uninvited. An unfortunate slight.


Jacket: A:S:S – Idol Jacket (white) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Pants: Gizza – Vintage Jeans (ornamental silver) [ giz.seorn ]

Boots: Razor – Dread Boots (bleach) [ kehl.razor ]
From the Final Fantasy Festival

Necklace: Ellabella – Ensorcelled Necklace (lavish) [ ellantha.larsson ]
From the Final Fantasy Festival

Ring: Maxi Gossamer – Royal Khadijah Estate [ maxi.gossamer ]

Hair: Exile – Far Behind (frost) [ kavar.cleanslate ]

Eyes: IKON – Lucid Eyes (gray) [ ikon.innovia ]

Skin: Swallow – Manu (ivory) [ luciayes.magic ]
From the Mens Dept  February collection

Hands: Slink – AvEnhance Male Hands (relax) [ siddean.munro ]

Nails: A:S:S – Slink Appliers (dragon scales) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Down nose – Pin Me Down – Bane [ shyntae.demonista ]

Base layer – A:S:S – Glam Rock Glitter (silver) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Top layer – A:S:S – Hydra Makeup (black) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Forehead – The Plastik – Soul Ink Reloaded (Ege) [ aikea.rieko ]

Purple Poses [ audrey.guter ]

AKEYO (from my AO) [ artoo.magneto ]

The Muse Poses [ audrey.cresci ]

Petit Pont [ hironey.fairey ]

CheerNo Motion [ sinystra ]

Timezones Unlimited

Bitch heels on, my beauties, and let’s strut that runway of frustration. Today’s topic of ire?


Or, to be more precise:


Oh, Europeans, Asians, and Antipodeans, I hear you screaming, “YES!” at me, and I agree: it’s probably the biggest source of frustration for me in Second Life. There is nothing more annoying than receiving a notice from a store that you love, which says, “Only 100 available! Come and get ’em before they’re all gone; sale starts at 2am your time when you’re fast asleep because your alarm for work goes off tomorrow at 5am in your timezone you LOSER, but for hey all my GORGEOUS American friends it will be between 9pm (EST) and 6pm (PST), so they win!”

Well yes, I know those notices never actually say that, but they might as well. And sure, I understand that – when the creator of the items in a limited sale is in a US timezone – then of course their own personal store sales will begin at a time that’s convenient to them. But what about limited sale events?  Ever notice how those always begin on a weekday at midnight? Do you stay up and then trawl into work the next day, yawning and fit for absolutely nothing because you were up past 1am battling to get into a crowded region (where nothing rezzed anyway) in an attempt to get that awesome 100-copies-only item? Or do you just give up and watch the bloggers all writing NO LONGER AVAILABLE under their amazing pictures the next day, as if they’re going, “nyah nyah!” at you because they are US-based and got in (or got sent review copies).

Incidentally, if I get sent review copies of something in advance of a limited-edition event, you will see them before the fucking event, not after it. And, if they’re sent to me at such short notice that I don’t have time to put together a look around them or even take a single photo of them? I won’t blog them.

I’m trying to understand these events. For most people, I suspect it’s just about exclusivity; the opportunity to own something that only 99 other people have. I never really understood that whole I don’t want anyone else wearing what I’m wearing  mentality (which was behind those awful anti-inspection shields that lagged regions to the point of crashing and were easy to circumvent anyway). I guess that’s why I blog, and why – before I had the blog – I posted full credits on Flickr, for years. I don’t want to be selfish; I like to share where I got this awesome stuff, sending customers in the direction of the creator as a way of saying thanks for making said awesome stuff. Yes, I know my paying for the stuff should be enough, but if you stick to that mentality then why do people leave reviews on Marketplace? It’s a way of saying thank you and helping the creator out. No brainer, really; it’s just nice and it’s polite. (Why yes, I am English; how did you guess?)

What I don’t understand why the creators only want 100 sales and no more. As a creator myself, I’d be frustrated as hell if I had to put a high-selling item back into my inventory, never to be on sale again, after just 100 sales. And that goes for any item. I’ve even put old hunt items out for sale when I’ve discovered them mouldering in my inventory years after the fact, because I love them and I want to share them (especially since hunt items are usually very special creations for me).

I guess, if you’re a prolific creator, putting one or two items into a limited sale is water off the proverbial duck’s back. I’m not even going to try and tax my brain (currently suffering from my usual weekend headache, which is probably why I’m extra grumpy about this) by thinking about the stores – yes, one in particular, and my male readers will suspect which that is – whose entire stock  is limited-edition.

*sigh* I think I need to just leave that group. That way I won’t be notified in advance that I’m going to be frustrated as hell every couple of weeks.

Bitch heels off, before I wring my ankle. I’m gonna find some more painkillers.

.::{~~[^**Quit With The Cute Folder Names**^]~~}::.

Admit it. You took one look at that title, shuddered, and nodded emphatically. If not, then take a little scroll through your immaculately-sorted inventory because, even if – unlike the rest of us heavy shoppers – you don’t have a pile of unsorted stuff waiting to be neatly put away, you must have at least one folder where **!!<<OMFG MY STORE IS AMAZING!>>!!** sits above COME SHOP AT MY PLACE.

One starts with the letter ‘O’, the other with the letter ‘C’. Unless you deliberately sort every single thing in your inventory in date-purchased order, rather than alphabetically, the fact that C should come before O is… a no-brainer.

Why do creators do this? I tried to come up with some reasons, and they boiled down to the following:

  • “Special characters put my item at the top of everything; it gets my item noticed1 more”
  • “It looks cute2/creative/artsy/fun”
  • “I am expressing myself 3 through my branding”
  • “I’m going to make you file my item in its own dedicated place4, because you’re so sick of trying to find it”

1: Yes, for being annoyingly-named
2: No, it doesn’t
3: Actually, you’re telling me you don’t give a toss about my blood pressure or my filing system
4: Yep: the trash

UPDATE (July 5th 2013) – Ruina makes a good point in the comments about branding, and I’ll admit that I was being kind of arsey in this post about that. She’s absolutely right (see my reply to her), so I’ve struck that point out. (Note: if I’m ever wrong here, you won’t see me delete shit. I’ll strike it out, but let it stand. The internet is forever, so if you’re an arse at any time, might as well let your arse-ishness stand, rather than try and cover it up.)

Any more suggestions as to why, drop a comment, because I am stumped, dear reader. Thing is, I love many of these stores, but I am getting heartily sick of having to constantly re-name their folders (so heartily sick that, clearly, I’ve procrastinated for too long and I now have a complete morass of folders to work through *sigh*).

As a creator myself I wouldn’t dream of it, because if there’s one thing I know it’s this:

Putting non-alphabetic (for me, this also includes numbers, and when people use the letter ‘x’ as decoration) characters at the start of a folder/item name means your item gets LOST in the scrolling to get PAST all that stuff to find the stuff that’s actually named normally.

You want to be actually found in someone’s inventory? Give your folder a normal name. You do know that certain special characters trump other special characters, right? (Of course you do. You researched that and you use the very top special characters that come above everyone else’s special characters? Dear god, give me a fucking break!)

I’m going to subject you to the mess that is the special-charactered miasma of my unfiled inventory folders right now. Be prepared for a L A R G E image, my little darlings. I don’t like to brag, but you might want a little lube over there, honey, because this baby is BIG:

Mmm, betcha feel nicely sore after that ;-)

The red lines denote points where the alphabet ‘breaks’ (ie: a much later letter comes before an earlier letter). In the case of folder names that start with the same letter, any breaks are taken from the second letter (thus there would be a break between ‘brown’ and ‘beige’ if the former came before the latter, since ‘e’ should come before ‘r’).

Count ’em. EIGHTEEN breaks.

Now, find me the Æros ‘Miles’ avatar that I want to blog.

I’ll wait…

… I’m still waiting…

Ah! You found it! Thanks! I was looking for that ;-)

And, creators? The same thing goes for your inventively-prefixed landmarks…