Bitch, Please: Let me insult you for having no creativity or drive

It’s time to put those bitch heels on and strut the runway of annoyance again, my sartorial darlings. So, what’s the latest thing to make Skell mutter, “Oh, bitch, please,” at his computer screen?

This little gem from group chat last night, with regard to the limitations of mesh:

Skell Dagger: Sadly, it’s a limitation with mesh. It’s much harder to find shoes that work with pants when you can’t edit the pants now!
Bitch Please: I don’t have any issues finding pants and shoes that work together. Seems to me it’s not a limitation of mesh, but a limitation of ones creativity or drive to make things work together.
Skell Dagger: It’s different for guys, BP. And while I do wear heels sometimes, there is (as yet) no heeled mesh foot for men. Finding flat shoes for men that work with various pant cuffs *is* tricky when you’re a guy.
Other Avatar: BP, nothing wrong with my creativity. :) But I have leggings that extend all the way to my toes. It’s simplty hard to find shoes for slink feet that will not try and compete with that, as it were
Bitch Please: I have male alts. I still don’t have issues finding things. :)
Bitch Please: And they’re always well dressed.
Skell Dagger: I have plenty of creativity and drive to make fashion work. My 190k+ inventory will testify to that ;-)

Hrm. Shall we just analyse Miss BP’s responses, one section at a time?

“I don’t have any issues finding pants and shoes that work together.”

  1. You’re a female avatar.
  2. There’s a METRIC FUCKTON more stuff out there for female avatars than there is for male avatars.
  3. Well ain’t you something, huh?
  4. You’re a female avatar.
  5. Preach it, sistah! Because what the hell do us stupid men know about shopping, huh?!
  6. You’re a female avatar.
  7. Do I need to repeat that you’re a female avatar?

Let us take a little diversion here, shall we? How many special sale events are there that cater almost exclusively for female avatars? I’d guess at least a dozen, changing around every couple of weeks. Now, how many for male avatars? ONE. Per. Month.

“Hey, some of those are unisex!” I hear you cry. Why, yes, they are; if you don’t mind buying only furniture. Or jewellery. Let’s take, as an example, the new round of Genre – one of my favourite places for a freaky boy like me to find unusual stuff to blog. The current round’s theme is Baroque, and you’d think there’d be several gorgeous items for men there, wouldn’t you? Here’s a breakdown of what’s actually there:

  • Dresses: 10 (in multiple colours/variants)
  • Corsets (rigged; only female avatars or male avis on a female mesh can wear them): 1
  • Female footwear: 3
  • Unisex footwear: 1
  • Jewellery: 5
  • Furniture: 10
  • Other female clothing (with boob-shaped mesh jackets, etc): 3
  • Hair: 2 (I’ve seen one male blogger who has worn the tall female powdered wig, but his avi is small and slender)
  • Poses: 2
  • Tattoos: 1
  • Accessories: 5
  • Makeup: 1
  • Female skins: 1
  • Churchwarden pipe: 1
  • Male clothing: 1 (a pair of harlequin leggings)

The last two in that list, plus the unisex footwear and one furniture item, are the only  things that are marketed towards (and would appeal to) the majority of men. I already have a great churchwarden pipe, so I don’t need a new one. I came away from Genre with the following items:

  • The unisex boots (sadly there’s no demo so I took a chance on them and sadly they just don’t work with my avatar)
  • The single available tattoo
  • Two necklaces (unrigged mesh, so I can resize them)
  • One of the female outfits. (I’ll be throwing away the boob-shaped mesh jacket, but joy of joys the gorgeous harem-style pants actually FIT on Skell. Expect to see those in a blog post soon)
  • A brooch
  • A fan
  • Some decor

So, in reality, Miss Bitch Please, you need a damn sight MORE drive  to make things work, when there’s less to work with.

“Seems to me it’s not a limitation of mesh, but a limitation of ones creativity or drive to make things work together.”

Ahahahahahaha! Aaaaaahahahhahahahaaaaa!  NO.

Oh, honey, so very much NO. With that one sentence you shoved not only me but the others who were agreeing with me in that group chat straight down the garbage chute and into the depressing morass of Not Being You. How will we ever cope without your awesomesauce levels of creativity? How do we even bring ourselves to get up in the morning without your levels of drive to make things works together?!

OK, let’s just address that issue of “drive to make things work together”. I went through more than sixty  pairs of shoes and boots in my inventory to find a pair that not only fitted  the extremely-skinny ankles of these fucking amazing pants by VRSION KONVERT, but that also fitted the style of look  that I was going for. More than sixty pairs. I spent almost three quarters of a frustrating hour trying to “make things work together” (fitting both physically and stylistically) on just the shoes alone, and still  I was only about 80% happy with the boots that I ended up using. So don’t you dare  fucking tell me that I don’t have the drive to make things work.

And yes, I can make those same pants fit a ‘normal-with-a-Skell-twist’ look, too, with some great studded loafers (below). But ‘normal’ wasn’t what I was going for in the look, above.

Now, onto “limitation of creativity”. Christ on a cracker, does Skell have to slap a bitch? SERIOUSLY?!

Exhibit A:

I desperately wanted to get that insane female hairstyle to work on a male avatar. There are items from fifteen  different stores in that look (not counting the birdcage and the pose), after I’d cannibalised at least three separate outfits (one of them female-only) to put that look together. *tsk* However did I manage that with my poor levels of creativity? *shakes head at self*

Exhibit B:

Gosh, I must have totally  lucked in here, and the Fashion Gods were feeling benevolent towards me when I put this one together (from sixteen different stores) completely by accident!  It wasn’t that I remembered I’d purchased that amazing headdress over a year before this photoshoot, knowing that – at some point – I would be able to use it for the perfect outfit, after all! And it wasn’t that I was buying female Maitreya hair over four years ago, now was it?!

So yeah, honey. Don’t you dare  fucking tell me that my creativity is ‘limited’.

“I have male alts. I still don’t have issues finding things. :)”

Oh, how fabulous for you! Please do tell me where these male alts of yours shop, because on this blog I’m always looking out for the latest ready-to-wear complete outfits! <insert passive-aggressive smiley here>

“And they’re always well dressed.”

That’s awesome. I’m happy for them. I’m well-dressed all the time, too. This is well-dressed:

I’m well turned-out enough. Nice pants, nice shirt, nice shoes that match and fit, nice bit of retro chic with the sunglasses. It’s all just so…. nice.  That’s just me as I am when I’m hangin’ around, doing nothing very much special. It’s normal-me. It’s average.

I’m very happy for you, that you’re able to dress your male alts well. However, on this blog, I’m mostly not aiming for ‘average’. I’m shooting for a bit more than that.

Then again, on reading your profile after you shut down the chat with that little offhand insult of several people in  said chat, I shouldn’t be surprised. In it, you state that you don’t need my permission to fuck with my head. Well, sweetie, you also didn’t need my permission to shove your head so far up your own arse that you were in danger of seeing daylight past your tonsils, but hey; you went ahead and did it anyway. Might wanna dial 911, because it looks as if you’ll be stuck there for a while.

/me eases off the bitch heels and goes to soak his feet for a bit.


Like any uncharted territory I must be greatly intriguing.
But you? You’re not allowed. You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight.

Love this mix of this song. I have a habit of banging it on repeat and singing along (pity my neighbours!) whenever someone’s goaded me, wound me up, annoyed me, pissed me off; anything like that. See, I’m normally the politest, most tolerant person you could ever meet. I’ll talk to anybody (I’m that guy who strikes up conversations at bus stops) and it takes one helluva lot to force me to the point of letting off steam in any way.

(Scroll down. There’s fashion stuff in a minute. I just need to get something off my chest here…)

One surefire, guaranteed way to do that is to be pushy, and that’s one reason why I have so few people on my Contacts list in SL. For many years, the only others on my list were trusted friends I’ve known for years, and recently I’ve added a couple of creators to that number. Very, very occasionally I’ll add someone I’ve spoken to a few times, but in all honesty I don’t actually like  adding people to my list. If I add you and you never contact me again, then after a couple of months you go off the damn list. Why the hell add me if you don’t intend on speaking to me now and then? Not keen on ‘friend collectors’, darlin’.

(Incidentally, if you’ve been added to my list and you’re wondering, “Shit, is he talking about me?” then a clue is if I’ve ever instigated an IM conversation with you. If I have, then I’m happy to have you on my list. Also, if I don’t instigate an IM conversation, but you can see  that I’m enjoying the conversations that you  instigate [and honestly you’ll know if I’m enjoying the chat, because if I’m forcing it then you can see I’m actually making a real effort  to be part of the conversation, rather than it flowing naturally] then I’m also happy to have you on my list.)

The other kind of addition is worse, for me, and it’s my damnable English politeness that makes it so fucking hard for me to say, “Sorry, no,” when I get a friendship offer. That addition is the kind that pushes. And I don’t mean the kind that sends occasional IMs. I mean the kind that:

  • IMs you the very second you log in, before the login progress bar has finished moving across and you’ve even bloody rezzed  (they want your attention NOW)
  • Logs on, IMs you immediately, then logs off again when they get your autoresponse (they only log on because they want your attention; if you can’t/don’t give it, they log off)
  • Constantly asks you what you’re doing, then when you ask them why they want to know they say, “I’m bored.” (they want you to entertain them)

Seriously? That last one actually happened to me with someone recently, and more than once. You’re bored, so you’re asking what I’m doing, because… you hope it’s something I can stop doing so I can un-bore you? What the fuck does that make me, to you?


Booted and muted. Because that wasn’t the first time this person had been pushy and demanding like that. And yes, I know this rant didn’t deserve to be put into a fashion post, but this look was put together while I had this song on repeat, and that kind of behaviour is most definitely uninvited.

What’s also uninvited? The intimation by a certain ‘macho’ section of SL that femme boys (and occasional femme boys like me) aren’t worthy of the descriptor ‘male’. Stop sucking your own dicks, ladies, and go tell it to the flowers. Y’know what? We don’t give a flying fuck what you think of us, because we’re the ones flying the creative flag, we’re the ones pushing boundaries, and we’re the ones with the BALLS around here. You? You just amble around in your massive muscles and boring denims and split-open shirts and look down your over-tanned noses at the guys who are having real fun with fashion. You wouldn’t have the balls  to try anything different. Too. fucking. scared. No homo! No homo! God, get a fucking grip, girls.

Have a pretty, pretty boy, my sartorial darlings. He doesn’t care what you think; he’s just flying his beautiful freak flag :-)

Like anyone would be, I am flattered by your fascination with me…

I’ve had my say and I’ll say no more. Credits are at the end of the post. Enjoy the song; it’s great for sticking the metaphorical finger to arseholes. Pun totally  intended ;-)

“This is not allowed”? You’re uninvited. An unfortunate slight.


Jacket: A:S:S – Idol Jacket (white) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Pants: Gizza – Vintage Jeans (ornamental silver) [ giz.seorn ]

Boots: Razor – Dread Boots (bleach) [ kehl.razor ]
From the Final Fantasy Festival

Necklace: Ellabella – Ensorcelled Necklace (lavish) [ ellantha.larsson ]
From the Final Fantasy Festival

Ring: Maxi Gossamer – Royal Khadijah Estate [ maxi.gossamer ]

Hair: Exile – Far Behind (frost) [ kavar.cleanslate ]

Eyes: IKON – Lucid Eyes (gray) [ ikon.innovia ]

Skin: Swallow – Manu (ivory) [ luciayes.magic ]
From the Mens Dept  February collection

Hands: Slink – AvEnhance Male Hands (relax) [ siddean.munro ]

Nails: A:S:S – Slink Appliers (dragon scales) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Down nose – Pin Me Down – Bane [ shyntae.demonista ]

Base layer – A:S:S – Glam Rock Glitter (silver) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Top layer – A:S:S – Hydra Makeup (black) [ photos.nikolaidis ]

Forehead – The Plastik – Soul Ink Reloaded (Ege) [ aikea.rieko ]

Purple Poses [ audrey.guter ]

AKEYO (from my AO) [ artoo.magneto ]

The Muse Poses [ audrey.cresci ]

Petit Pont [ hironey.fairey ]

CheerNo Motion [ sinystra ]

Dear Diary: Quirky sod, I am

Dear Diary,

Am I the only one with quirks and traits specific to my avatar? Like others out there, I have (infrequently-logged) alts, and I’ve often said to friends that those alts represent different (infrequently-expressed) aspects of my personality, but Skell intrigues me sometimes because he has habits that I – in real life – don’t.

Case in point: I don’t smoke. I’ve never smoked. In fact, cigarette smoke is one of the main triggers for my asthma and I avoid it like the plague, to the point of holding my breath whenever I have to walk past or behind someone who’s smoking in the street. But in Second Life, Skell smokes. He has ashtrays on every desk that he uses, and he’s often got a cigarette dangling from his hand or between his lips. It’s not an “it’s cool to smoke” thing (because, in my view, it’s not); rather it’s just part of who he is. I guess at least there’s no avatar equivalent of emphysema or lung cancer, but it puzzles me as to why Skell enjoys* doing something that I personally don’t like (and which, in fact, can make me quite ill).

Incidentally, I’ve seen comments on at least one very popular blog that actually tell the blogger off  for glamourising smoking. The comment that sticks most in my mind is one of castigation-by-shame, wherein the commenter informed the blogger she was ‘disappointed’ to see a post featuring cigarettes; basically implying that the blogger had failed in her usual high standards and should be setting an example, since her blog was so popular. And what better way to try and control someone else’s artistic expression than by trying to make them feel guilty?

*And we’re not even going into the slightly-odd depths that are the fact that Skell is his own person who enjoys  doing things. Yeah, so not going there O.o

Speaking of quirks, is there a reason why some female avatars enjoy going shopping in their underwear? I mean, before Project Sunshine and the whole server-side baking thing, that could be put down to varying degrees of bakefail, but now? I often see female avatars skipping and strutting around stores and open areas in bras and knickers. Not bikinis, not slutwear; actual lingerie. Sure, you’ll sometimes see me shopping in a corset and heels, but there’s no way on Philip’s sweet grid you’ll catch me indulging in retail therapy in a pair of boxer shorts or something. Even when I’m wearing a corset and heels I’ll also be wearing pants.

Seriously, was it so imperative that you get to the event as soon as the notecard arrived, that you didn’t even have time to get dressed?! :p

As for this, yeah I know it’s as much an expression of style as my own weirdness sometimes is, but my instant reaction is just, “Honey, why did you even bother? Just leave the pants at home,” –

These avatars frequently skip instead of walking. For once, just once, I’d love to see the realistic result of trying to skip in pants like that. Someone please  make a ‘falling flat on your face’ AO…

In non-quirky news, I’ve got my application in for this year’s Steam Hunt. My prize is already made (my god, I’m actually organised, but only because the Victorian skybox that I’ve already blogged is going to be my prize). I’m also going to rez and convex hull my old Renaissance Hunt prize from several years ago: the Fulcanelli  house. It’s just been sitting in my inventory for about three years, which is a shame because it’s one of my favourite builds. Time to update it, reduce the prim count (the convex hull thing) and get it out for sale.


The SLife of I: Part 1

No, I’m not sharing a boat with a tiger. These are just a few random snapshots of my SLife in the past few weeks.

Firstly, Daros and I bought a huge plot of land at auction, on our home sim of Jindalrae. It had previously been the location of a big SL pregnancy clinic, and it had become something of a standing joke that – when I was sitting up in our big steampunk tower home waaaaay off to the east of the clinic – random female avatars would send me IMs, assuming that either: I owned the store and could tell them how much the triplets package was, or that I could… assist them in other, more intimate ways. Yeesh!

Incidentally, see those lines on the Linden water there? I have an ATI card (never again, trust me) and I see those damn things all the time unless I have shadows enabled. Anyone else get those? They drive me crazy, flickering and flashing away. Sometimes the water is green. And no, it’s not my system; it’s less than a year old, and is a custom-built, water-cooled gaming rig. The only thing I can think of is that I have a dodgy GPU (or that ATI just simply isn’t as good as NVIDIA, which I’ll be switching back to by the end of the year).

Seconds after we’d won the land (after a very tense half hour with a sniper bidding against us, which saw us put in a whopping bid that nobody in their right mind would try to surpass!) I had my arms full of very happy boyfriend :-)

VERY happy boyfriend! XD

And then, I logged in a few days ago and – no matter what I did – I kept floating. The best way I can describe it is that it was like the ghosts in the Sims 3 cemetery. Even when I walked, I floated. A relog fixed it, but it was odd as all hell.

Now, this young lady was standing at the base of our steampunk tower home. She was cuffed and chained and her Master kept poufing in and poufing out again, taking off her clothes and putting new ones on her. Interesting selection in her #RLV folder…

Thing is, he put this skirt (well really, it’s more like a belt) on her, and… uh… a friend of mine (*koff*) really wants to know where it’s from, so he can buy one. Can you help me him out?

Moving swiftly on… I should have added this to my ‘Packaging: You’re doing it right’  set on Flickr. Great packaging from Aitui:

An amazing dress spotted a few weeks ago at the final Zodiac event. I complimented the wearer, because her entire ensemble was awesome. She was a blogger, putting together an Alice-themed look.

Penutimately, a new ‘thing’ for the blog: Fashion Disasters In The Wild. We begin with a trip to Sn@tch last week to grab the Woeful Wednesday item, whereat I spotted this leggy lovely, wearing a tag that proclaimed her to be a ‘top model’. With un-matched, poorly-sized feet like that, honey, I sure as hell wouldn’t hire you. </bitch>

Lastly, the best moments are always the small, simple, perfect ones when you spend time with someone you love <3